Wednesday, 5 January 2005

The True Story Part II

And the story continues...

So we headed to the 32 bus stop from Parkway to get to Siglap. Along the way Mr Teo bought a bag of guavas...coz he believes strongly in healthy eating. Anyway it wasn't long before de bus arrived & we boarded it, with Mr Teo claiming that he was a model citizen all the while eating his guavas in the bus!! I kindly pointed out the fact that model citizens obey the "No Eating & Drinking" signs posted in the public bus (coz we know Mr Teo's command of the English language is weak & I'm positively sure that he doesn't comprehend the meaning of 'model citizen'). Mr Teo however showed no inclination to stop eating (coz as I mentioned earlier his English isn't very good & thus he probably didn't have a clue of what I was trying to say in ENGLISH)...he pointed out that de bus driver couldn't see him so it was ok. Following that logic, if you kill someone & noone sees you, guess what? It's ok. Now if anyone wants to kill Mr Teo I'm sure everyone would say they didn't see then it would be ok (Therefore Mr Teo is free for anyone who wants to kill).

Arriving at Siglap, we proceeded to the Cheesecake Cafe for dessert. Surprisingly Mr Teo was more than willing to indulge in cheesecake which is *gasp* not healthy food! He made a weak attempt to protect his waistline (under the guise of protecting was a very poor guise) by saying he wouldn't order a chocolate cheesecake & go for peach instead. If anyone is wondering why this is considered a weak protection it's coz cheesecakes are fattening anyway...a bit of chocolate really doesn't make much of a difference. In line with his newly acquired "pot-bellied, lecherous uncle" status, Mr Teo also ordered himself a pot of tea & some warm water...all that was missing was the hairy mole on his cheek & the newspaper.

I can't quite recall what our conversation was but I do recall Mr Teo did make an attempt to talk about expanding wasitlines & exercise & healthy diets...for awhile. If there was any intelligent was on my part. lol Well we kinda juz sat there talking till we got smoked out literarily by this couple sitting beside us who also happened to have a taste for snails. I shan't give my view on that coz then I'd never finish writing this, but to summarize it....ugh! Mr Teo has eaten snails before though & in a rare moment we actually came to an agreement that snails are icky & overpriced.

Anyway after we got smoked out Mr Teo suggested a walk so we kinda started heading in de direction of my place & we were walking along Frankel Ave when he suggested going by de Siglap connector. He said there was a road joining Frankel to de Siglap connector. Well one would expect that Mr Teo, having haunted de area for such a long time would know de way & all, which perfectly justifies me following him. BIG mistake on my part (n anyone else's who chooses to follow him). We ended up walking along Dunbar St (is tt the right street name?) and hit a dead end. Basically we were lost. Mr Teo however refused to admit it he was very sure there was a road somewhere...what's with guys & their egos anyway when they refuse to admit that they are lost?

So we walked n walked up n down, mostly up n then...voila! We were a few metres away from the Cheesecake Cafe thanks to Mr Teo's superb navigational skills. Well of course then we knew where de Siglap connector was n if he didn't know, I did. Thankfully de Siglap connector is fairly idiot-proof, as long as one can walk in a straight line.

Along de way back, Mr Teo had my umbrella n was swinging it about happily. Thereafter he said he really liked my umbrella coz it made a good sword. He then proceeded to show me de various ways de umbrella could be swung out...just like a sword!! Oh we also passed the "road" that Mr Teo was positively sure led to de Siglap connector. Turn out it was more of a dark, creepy little narrow path between 2 houses that kinda went around de canal n stuff. I must mention here that I've observed that every time I've been out with him, he never fails to point out to me a dark place where it's "good to take a walk". Translation: It's a good place where you could "hairy hands and hairy legs (mao shou mao jiao)". So you can see juz how decent Mr Teo is.

After walking off my cheesecake, dinner, lunch & de previous day's dinner, we finally arrived at my place whereby Mr Teo debated on whether he should take the bus or walk back from where we came from. I did offer him my umbrella which he now thought of as his trusty sword as he mentioned he might meet a couple of boogiemen along de way, but he declined asking me to look after it for him instead. Well you know how to deal with delusional people...juz smile n nod. So I did.

My account of New Year's Eve ends here as Mr Teo would have filled in de rest on his escapedes with Bangladeshis n all.

Disclaimmer: No animals were injured in de process of writing this piece, although a certain ego may have been bruised. Please consume this with a pinch of salt...he really isn't too bad.

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